Wages of Cine: March 2015

Growing up with horror anthology films like Creepshow, Tales from the Darkside and Cats Eye, we at Wages of Cine are pretty excited to see a film like Scream Machine come along and help bring more anthologies back to today. Scarlet Fry, also know for Death by VHS and Nightmare Alley, brings us Scream Machine. A SOV Anthology film of 5 scary tales told by the demented Doctor Fry, played by Scarlet Fry and his severed head assistant, Dr. Headly Graves, played by Paul C. Hemmes. They are showing films to what’s left of humanity after Ebola has wiped out most of the planet.

The first segment is called “Sledgehammer” and it’s no Peter Gabriel song. Sledgehammer is a fast ball straight to scary. This is a revenge flick with a baseball spin. We find a couple of scouts watching a south paw with a talent for pitching a 150 mph fast ball. Dutch gets signed after he shows the scouts the power his fast ball. Of the five shorts this one has some of our favorite gore effects.

The next segment is “Cannibal Pen Pals”. This short has another one of our greatest fears, bathroom hookups going very very wrong. This segment is definitely full of humor and camp wrapped up in a sheet of messed up. Messed up, over the top romp of depravity and wanton defilement that needs to be locked away from society. “Jeffery” picks up Steve. They ditch work for a more adventurous afternoon and Steve helps “Jeffery” explore some of his newly discovered fetishes.

The third piece is called “April Fool's Party”. This segment is like when your friends pull a prank on you, if you’re friends are criminal hooligans. The tweakers mess with a friend that they know will soon be out of his mind on coke, hoping to drive him crazy. I hope you’re not friends with those types. If so, delete their numbers from your phone and defriend them on facebook. You don’t need people like that in your life. If you do, please have a good dental plan!

The fourth segment is called “Septic Shock” and it is full of poop and that’s a good thing. The idea for this segment was pretty unique and had some creative lighting and sound effects making us feel as uncomfortable as the main character. A couple are at the doctor and he is given a clean bill of health. His wife has other plans for his health as she prepares a nice chloroform motorboat for her hubby. He wakes up to find at what lengths his wife will go to get rid of him. Too bad there’s no smellivision yet to complete the experience.

The last segment is “Deadly Indie Drive-In” which is about a couple on a lovely date at the Drive-In. I’ve personally had several lovely dates at the Drive-In that’s led to some steamed up windows if you know what I’m saying…and I think you do “WINK WINK”. This tale has sights and sounds that talk to the female date. She seems to hear what her date can't. After she has a hankering for some snacks, he gets a little something something in the front seat. I think this would teach us to pay more attention to the voices but then again the voices that tell me to do things tend to keep me out of trouble more so than in it.

Scream Machine opens with Lloyd Kaufman of Troma giving a very Lloyd Kaufman type of speech. Like Lloyd's Troma films this film has a fun, campy, over the top feel going for it. It’s very self aware and is designed to give you laughs and entertainment without ever taking itself seriously. Thankfully we didn’t have to catch Ebola in order to catch this flick.

So on the Wages of Cine poop scale, We collectively give it a 2.7. Two 3's and a Deuce!

Check out the trailers-

Our Video Review of Scream Machine!

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Wages of Cine Presents - Viaticum

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Scream Machine (2015)

Wages of Cine - 30 Second Movie Commercial

Wages of Cine Movie Reviews